The Tank™ is on a diet

As mentioned last time, I'm trying to breathe a bit of life into The Tank™, a 30yr-old steel mountain bike that has been through the mill but is seemingly indestructible.

Part of that resuscitation involves putting the whole thing on a diet, and I was quite pleased to have shaved nearly half a kilogram off last time. But why stop there? As it happens, the old girl needed new tyres, the old pair having clocked very nearly 4,000 puncture-free miles.

So my starting point was a 26 x 1.9" Schwalbe Land Cruiser on the front and a 26 x 2.0" Land Cruiser Plus on the rear. Don't ask why they were different widths - that's what happens when a bike shop only has certain tyres in stock. Anyway, they came off and a last-gen pair of new Land Cruisers went on, but narrower: 26 x 1.75". And I was amazed at the weight saving. My admittedly increasingly inaccurate luggage scale reckoned the old front tyre was 700g but its replacement was 350g. And an even bigger reduction came from changing the rear.

The upshot of all this is that The Tank™ now tips the scales at something like 13.25kg, more than a kilo lighter than it was this time last month. And because the tyres were last-gen, i.e. last year's model, they were only £11 each. So my secondary aim of rejuvenating the old girl on the cheap holds up too.

Wondering what I can do next? The seatpost is an obvious candidate but being an old-school MTB it's a funny size: 25.4mm. Don't find too many carbon posts that size. I might have to result to more rudimentary changes, as in pulling the post out and seeing if there's scope for cutting it down a bit. Now, where's my hacksaw...?

Life in the old dog yet?

You may have seen me refer to The Tank™ on here before. Well, here it is:

The only thing older and more clapped out than this bike is its rider.

For clarity, this is a Saracen Rufftrax that I bought new from Halfords in Folkestone, Kent, all the way back in 1995, for the princely sum (then) of £199.99 - as you can see, it is not all original (that's a padded but very comfortable Wittkop saddle from middle-Lidl, of all places, and Giant bar-ends, for starters) but is, for the most part, the same bike I did the 1996 London to Brighton bike ride on, incredibly.

It was starting to feel very tired though. Last October, I had to bite the bullet and find some new shifters, because I just couldn't change gear any more. I managed to find an as-new compatible Shimano set, still boxed, from an Ebayer in the US who bought them for his kids' MTBs years ago, never used them and then rediscovered them at the back of his garage. Result. They went on and suddenly I could change gear again. I put a new rear mech on at the same time.

I also upgraded the brakes, which felt like a more significant change because it meant a move away from period correctness - I swapped out the old cantilever brakes and fitted V brakes instead. I can stop a bit better now (though the gain is marginal).

I've been using The Tank™ all through the winter for commuting, which is why it's in the state it was at the weekend, propped up against the table tennis table in the back garden. But having spent time and money keeping it usable, money that could easily have bought something half-decent (and modern) on the used market, I suddenly realised that I have committed to keeping the old beast on the road. And that, having made concessions to modernisation with the change of brakes, the shackles were off in terms of other modifications.

Let's be clear, although it's technically a mountain bike, most of the time it's on the road, just in bad weather. So the fact that it weighs a tonne is an issue. Okay, not a tonne ... but I picked it up with a fairly accurate luggage scale on Saturday and it clocked 14.5kg. That's a lot, and needs to change. However, I also don't want to spend a lot on the bike. It doesn't owe me anything, but I have other bikes that I'd rather spend money improving. So, my goal is to see if there's life in the old bike yet, but do so without spending too much... and this is how I started at the weekend:

⮜	OFF:	Wittkop Medicus MTB saddle	-	430g
⮞	ON:	Giant Performance Road saddle	No cost (had it spare in the garage)	340g
⮜	OFF:	Saracen OEM alloy handlebar	-	416g
⮞	ON:	USE Atom carbon handlebar	£44.49 on Ebay	135g
⮜	OFF:	Giant Contact SL bar-ends	-	158g
⮞	ON:	Houson R15 bar-ends	No cost (freebie)	64g
⮜	OFF:	A leftover bolt from the old cantilever brakes	-	5g
Total weight saving:				460g

In other words, I battered the weight-saving rule of 1g/£, by a factor of 10! Hanging it back on the luggage scale returned a figure of 14.1kg though, so there's still work to do...

As luck would have it, The Tank™ needs new tyres. Because it is mostly used on the road, for commuting in inclement weather, I plan to downsize from 26 x 2.00 to 26 x 1.75. I'll be sticking with Schwalbe Land Cruiser Plus though, as they've served me brilliantly. The tyres have been ordered, I'll post here again when they've arrived and I've put them on. Maybe there'll be an "after" photo too, to go with the "before" above. I also plan to save a few cheap grammes with a new bottle cage. Whoop-de-doo, right?

My anti-fascist buff...

...is not a phrase I ever imagined I would use, yet here we are:

Okay, it's not my first choice of colour, but if there's a buff that proclaims me to be both a ciclista and an antifascista then I'm going to wear it.

This comes from Ciclista Ciclista, in Germany, though sadly they seem to have shut up shop for the indefinite. Shame.

"I can see clearly now the rain has gone...."

"...I can see all lobster-claws in my way..."

That is how the song goes, right?

All of which terrible punning serves only to introduce the fact that I bought myself a pair of lobster-claw cycling gloves back in the autumn, thinking I wanted warmer hands when winter came calling. After much open-mouthed gawping at the cost of such gloves from established brands, these are what I ended up getting:

No, I wasn't especially familiar with VeloChampion as a brand either. But these were being sold as new on eBay for a tenner. I took a chance.

And you know what? They're excellent, probably the toastiest cycling gloves I've ever had. The claw design, allowing your fingers to keep each other warm, has been a real boon. In fact, it has taken until this week's sub-zero temperatures for me to get even slightly chilly hands cycling - that's how good these have been. Very comfy too, with well-placed padding. And although they were not advertised or sold as being waterproof, I've completed 25-minute rides in steady rain and emerged with bone-dry hands too. Your mileage may vary in a downpour, but I can only speak for my own experience so far.

Downsides? Well, the glossy black stripe on the back isn't really to my taste, but even that isn't gaudy or bling, is it? That said, the gloves could use some reflective details for these dark winter nights. Oh, and if the cuffs went 5 or 10 millimetres further up my sleeve, I wouldn't complain. But these are minor niggles, for what are properly good gloves and, at the secondhand price I paid for them, an absolute steal.

TLDR: warm, comfortable and even showerproof, these lobster claw gloves are terrific. ★★★★☆

BUY: seems that these are no longer available from VeloChampion, but you might be lucky and find some on eBay like me.

Full disclosure: I bought these with my own money. If anyone wants to give me kit in exchange for an honest review, I'm open to that, but unless I explicitly say otherwise everything I review on here will be sourced and paid for by yours truly.

Partially met

You know when you have your annual appraisal at work, and you're supposed to say how many of your objectives for the year you actually met? I always seem to list several as "partially met" as in, yes, I did something but not everything. Looks like my cycling goals for 2024 were similar... remember, I'd set myself these targets:

1. Complete 2,000 miles distance
2. Complete 56,000 feet of elevation
3. Record an annual Eddington of 16 miles (requiring 16 days of 16+ miles)
4. Increase lifetime Eddington from 40 miles to 43 (requiring eight days of 43+ miles)

This is how I ended up:

So I fully met goals 3 and 4, and got pretty close (96.9% of the way) on goal 2. I fell someway short (only 86.5% there) on goal 1 though, distance. Sigh.

Anyway, the other part of the annual appraisal is to look forward and set objectives for the year ahead. My cycling goals are very unoriginal, in that they are retreads of last year's, but since no-one but me reads this, who cares about that? Without further ado then, my cycling goals for 2025 are as follows:

1. Complete 1,800 miles distance
2. Complete 55,000 feet of elevation
3. Record an annual Eddington of 17 miles (requiring 17 days of 17+ miles)
4. Increase lifetime Eddington from 43 miles to 46 (requiring six days of 46+ miles)

If goals 1 and 2 look watered down from last year, well, they are - SMART goals need to be Achievable, right, we all know that from the usual appraisal spiel. As for goals 3 and 4, they're going to be hard; I currently have no sportives planned and, unlike last year, no marathon cycling holidays planned either. "Stretch goals" though, right? So watch this space, where I will continue to document my failure in a series of graphs, perhaps quarterly this year rather than monthly. What a time to be alive.