Turboman

No, I didn't clean my bike before mounting it.
Yes, that is an old-school static exercise bike in the background.

In which I ramble on at boring length about the Bkool Smart Pro 2 turbo trainer...

Okay, I'll try not to ramble on. Can't make any promises about not being boring. But anyway, I've had this turbo trainer sat in its box, making me feel guilty for not using it, since my last birthday. But the cool weather, a recent spate of punctures and the fact that I really need to step up my training finally made me do something about it at the weekend.

Assembling the Smart Pro 2 is so simple, you don't even need to open the instructions (watch this if you don't believe me). The hardest part was getting my QR spindle out, so I could put the Bkool one in (which probably tells me mine was done up too tight). Installing the app was simple too - it was on my tablet in no time. Even connecting the two together was a doddle, via Bluetooth and ANT+ (I checked both). The only problem was making the damn trainer work properly ... because, whatever I tried, it was permanently stuck at maximum resistance. I could barely turn the pedals.

Much Googling ensued. Much reading of forums too, both Bkool and independent. It seemed to be a comparatively common problem, and yet there didn't seem to be a definitive answer. A surprising number of people had resorted to taking the trainer apart to look for physical problems but I felt that, being box-fresh, it was more likely a software problem. The app was supposed, I read, to tell me if the trainer required a firmware upgrade, and it wasn't ... so how to force a firmware upgrade, that was the question.

The answer was to download a companion app called the Bkool Toolkit (er, why can't the two be combined into one app, Bkool?), which checks for firmware upgrades on demand. And yes, my trainer, needed one. Sorted, right? Not quite. Because what neither the forums, the Bkool website nor the Toolkit app tell you is that for the firmware upgrade to work you need to have location services enabled on your tablet/phone. Only after I had tried and failed to install the firmware upgrade eight or nine times did I, in desperation, enable location services and get a result. Because yes, as soon as the firmware was up to date, the trainer resistance recalibrated and I could actually get on and use the thing.

First go was Giro del Lago Grande di Avigliana, an introductory 3mi loop around a lake in Italy, on my todd. It was fine, hard work in the right places, although I think the resistance ramps up a bit too quickly but maybe that's just me. The graphics were good, and a little less cartoony than all the Zwift screenshots that friends have on Strava. There's also a choice of map or real video, but I think I'll be sticking to the video animation.

The next morning I had a go at something a little more demanding. And because I wanted the social (by which I mean competitive) aspect of simulators like Bkool to kick in, I chose a scheduled session - basically an ordinary route that lots of users ride at the same time. I chose La Senia-Roquetes in NE Spain, partly because it was rated as being relatively easy but mostly because the distance meant it would fit into my narrow window of free time. I missed the start of the scheduled session but joined late and got pedalling.

And this is where I think the turbo trainer is really going to work for me, because I am quite competitive (more so than my level of ability warrants). When I joined the session, the app showed me that I was six minutes behind Oscar from Spain (whoever he was). I had the 19.5mi of the route to catch him ... and I was off, like a scalded cat. As it was, I caught him at the half-way point, so then had the challenge of first maintaining, then building a lead. By the time I crossed the finish line, I was five minutes ahead.

I was also a sweaty mess. With turbo training in the conservatory there's no breeze to cool you, or help your sweat evaporate. My top was off and I was down to shorts only after about seven miles, and my handlebars were uncomfortably slick with sweat (I hadn't thought to wear my gloves). I could probably have used a towel too. I can quite see why many users of this and other turbo trainers also invest in a desk fan for their training space.

But the Smart Pro 2? Once patched to the latest firmware, faultless. It feels really well made too. The Bkool simulator app isn't quite so slick - the UI is clunky and takes some getting used to, plus the Toolkit app functionality should really be built into the core app - but the actual simulations are excellent. I'm using a voucher that came with the trainer to get myself three months of the premium service, so I get the full range of available routes, sessions, velodromes simulators (yes, really) and seamless Strava/Garmin integration. When the three months run out, it'll cost £7.99 a month to continue. There is a free service, but the choice of routes and sessions is very limited, and there's no integration with other services. So we'll see ... three months is long enough for either the novelty to wear off or to become an absolute disciple. Watch this space.

TLDR: really well made bit of kit, software needs work, but the simulator is very good and subscription is competitively priced. Could be the making (and/or breaking) of me.